Genesis Hilton

So, I've been in the hospital since last Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011.  (thats two thousand and eleven because I don't give a crap)

Apparently a side effect of pregnancy is gall stones in my gallbladder.  And a side effect of gallstones is if you stay in the hospital for 5 days they won't feed you.  Thats right.  I am limited to ice chips, yellow or green jello, chicken broth, popsicles, hot tea, grape juice or apple juice.  Which when you haven't eaten in 5 days you may think to yourself "Hm, that sounds like a buffet!" 

But everytime one of the teenage food deliverers enters my room i just hold my hand up and say no.  I don't want it.   I am so fricking hungry that if I can't have what I want, I won't eat anything at all.  Maybe its to show my doctors just how whiny I can be.  Maybe its because it all sounds so disgusting.  "We won't feed you food, but here is all this sugar and salt! Bon Appetite!'   Gross.  Seriously.  I don't know ANYONE that specifically makes yellow jello just to eat it.

My surgery is scheduled for Monday March 7th.  I want to go home sooooo bad.  I don't wish this on my worst enemy.  I've been reduced to watching the same reruns of the Jersey Shore, ABC Family, I think I watched the last 15 minutes of Aladdin today, and just endless channel surfing which reassures a previous blog. I think you're dumb if you pay for cable tv.

They offer me a free paper every morning.  I don't read it.

I know they are trying to make my stay here as nice as possible but honestly, when I come to a hospital I just want to be miserable.  I don't want to enjoy this.  I am already trying to make the best of a bad situation.  But this situation is awful.

I can't care for my son.  I don't even want him here.  A hospital isn't a place for a 13 week old.  My family has all be pitching in to help out which is nice but I still find a way to make it bad.  I wish it was me caring for him.  He has been on formula for the past week because I can't feed him and it really makes me angry everytime I see him and he gets fatter everyday from all the fillers they put in formula.  His cheeks are sooo  pudgy.  His baby fat curls itself around his pacifier.  He wasn't like that when I was caring for him.  My husband tells me that his diapers are absolutely horrendous.  He smells awful too. 

I know this is the whiniest blog ever but like I tell everyone that has been visiting.  I just sit here all day and stew.  I do nothing.  I wait.  I watch the clock.  I sip juice.  I think about how much this sucks.  I talk to nurses that come in.  They always offer to bring me ice chips but you can only pretend its water flavored ice cream for so long.

So I'll end this rant now.  I'm tired of whining but I can't stop.  Facebook is lame.