My paternal Grandfather died September 26, 2010. During his time on earth, he had a pure hatred for red lights and stupid traffic that went deep down into the pit of his soul.
I share this hatred. I think it's genetic.
Fore warning: This blog may show you exactly how strange I may be. But I don't care. Its just my take on life.
Since my Grandpa O's death, I have noticed many things during my drive times. I hit red lights like it's my job. I constantly get stuck by a line of cars while trying to cross a highway. And people pull out in front of me like I am invisible.
While I haven't figured out a way to fix the third problem aside from t-boning the other car (That'll teach em.) I have in a strange way figured out a way to solve the other problems. Here comes the paranormal part. I find myself talking to my Grandpa like he actually has influence on traffic patterns and stop lights. And you know what. It works. Maybe it's luck, maybe it is timing, but I think it isn't. I think my Grandpa is my own little patron Saint of Traffic.
Not saying that my Grandpa watches out for me so that I don't hit any red lights, but if in cases where I am running late, a quick "Grandpa, please?!" usually does the trick for me. Same for when there is a line of cars.
I'm not crazy. I just have faith that my Grandpa is watching me from heaven, making sure that I don't go road rage postal on someone that doesn't deserve it.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Helpless situations
I am always irritated. But sometimes my funniest lines happen when I am annoyed. Living in the West End of Davenport, you encounter a lot of interesting people. I have decided to list the interesting people that piss me off.
1- People that smoke at entrances to restaurants, grocery stores, or any other public building. Step outside the fact that it is illegal, is your shopping experience so intense that it qualifies for a smoke break? Or do you just get off on great deals and have to pause for 5 minutes then get back into it? I don't care that you smoke. I care when it affects me. Such as at the Rockingham Hy-Vee when I am trying to get a Redbox. Don't talk to me, don't touch my baby, put out your cancer stick and get back in the building to oogle the cheap prices of the Keystones and slim jims.
2- People that park in the fire lane. You know, the fat asses that really need to park on the opposite side of the lot to get that exercise? Or the people that need the quick get away from the dollar tree. Seriously, I've been to Walmart enough times where an ambulance was needed and the fire truck parking lot was full of people waiting for their wives or children to get their Valutime Cheese Puffs. Oh and by the way 95% of them were smoking.
3- People that yell at public officials for doing their job. This story is kind of ridiculous and isn't the only representation of my opinion, but here goes. I was at the Humane Society getting a rabies shot for my dog and some young female patron behind me was noticing an Animal Control Truck coming in. The officer got out of the truck and pulled out a 6 month old Golden Retriever and was carrying it inside to which the young idiot blurted out "You just stole someone's dog! Just wanted to let you know that!" First off, no shit. Thank you captain obvious. But lets use our thinking brain here. How do we know that dog wasn't running the streets terrorizing innocent citizens or the owner was beating it? I looked at her, as did everyone else, with an incredulous look. And then she did it. The Maury Povich, hand on the hip, wiggling her head back and forth, whipped her hair around then looked away like we are the ones with the problem. Some people are so dumb, it oozes out and makes the rest of us dumb too, because not one single person could find words to say to her. I did ask the vet to do a service to the quad cities and spay her while she was there, but he said he couldn't legally do it, though he would like to.
4- Tastee Freez employees. Do they realize that its 89 degrees out and there are 76 people in line? The picnic tables are sticky and children are walking on them barefoot. Some douche bag is revving his motorcycle engine for no apparent reason while his "hot mama" gets him a banana split with extra strawberries. A pregnant teenager just went into labor and all I want is a freakin vanilla cone with some damned sprinkles on it. Quit rubbing the zits on your forehead, wash your hands, and pull the lever on the machine with gusto and I'll give you $2. You don't need to pick up that sharpie and write down the order. I can walk you through this step by step. Do any adults work there?
5- Ice Cream Truck Drivers. My nephew is 3. If you see him running out towards the street by himself, don't stop and throw it into reverse. A) your dumbass is liable to hit him. B) He's 3! He doesn't carry cash. Give him time to get on Etrade and sell some stock, then his parents can take him to the bank to do a withdrawl from his college savings. Better yet, do you take money orders? He's a big fan of Western Union.
***Note- My nephew did not run into the street, but he was on his way to it as my Brother saw it all and chased after him and caught him before something tragic happened. No foul parenting was involved.***
And there we have it. Pet Peeves of West Ending it. I can put up with beer cans scattered in peoples yards, dirty kids of all genders running around without clothes after the street lights come on, I even grit my teeth when a parent is yelling at their kids at 10:30 pm in Hy-Vee because they are tired and crying. But the above types of people are the ones that I wish would move to Rock Island. It's just a hop, skip, and a jump over the Centennial Bridge. And who knows, maybe they'll fall off on the way.
1- People that smoke at entrances to restaurants, grocery stores, or any other public building. Step outside the fact that it is illegal, is your shopping experience so intense that it qualifies for a smoke break? Or do you just get off on great deals and have to pause for 5 minutes then get back into it? I don't care that you smoke. I care when it affects me. Such as at the Rockingham Hy-Vee when I am trying to get a Redbox. Don't talk to me, don't touch my baby, put out your cancer stick and get back in the building to oogle the cheap prices of the Keystones and slim jims.
2- People that park in the fire lane. You know, the fat asses that really need to park on the opposite side of the lot to get that exercise? Or the people that need the quick get away from the dollar tree. Seriously, I've been to Walmart enough times where an ambulance was needed and the fire truck parking lot was full of people waiting for their wives or children to get their Valutime Cheese Puffs. Oh and by the way 95% of them were smoking.
3- People that yell at public officials for doing their job. This story is kind of ridiculous and isn't the only representation of my opinion, but here goes. I was at the Humane Society getting a rabies shot for my dog and some young female patron behind me was noticing an Animal Control Truck coming in. The officer got out of the truck and pulled out a 6 month old Golden Retriever and was carrying it inside to which the young idiot blurted out "You just stole someone's dog! Just wanted to let you know that!" First off, no shit. Thank you captain obvious. But lets use our thinking brain here. How do we know that dog wasn't running the streets terrorizing innocent citizens or the owner was beating it? I looked at her, as did everyone else, with an incredulous look. And then she did it. The Maury Povich, hand on the hip, wiggling her head back and forth, whipped her hair around then looked away like we are the ones with the problem. Some people are so dumb, it oozes out and makes the rest of us dumb too, because not one single person could find words to say to her. I did ask the vet to do a service to the quad cities and spay her while she was there, but he said he couldn't legally do it, though he would like to.
4- Tastee Freez employees. Do they realize that its 89 degrees out and there are 76 people in line? The picnic tables are sticky and children are walking on them barefoot. Some douche bag is revving his motorcycle engine for no apparent reason while his "hot mama" gets him a banana split with extra strawberries. A pregnant teenager just went into labor and all I want is a freakin vanilla cone with some damned sprinkles on it. Quit rubbing the zits on your forehead, wash your hands, and pull the lever on the machine with gusto and I'll give you $2. You don't need to pick up that sharpie and write down the order. I can walk you through this step by step. Do any adults work there?
5- Ice Cream Truck Drivers. My nephew is 3. If you see him running out towards the street by himself, don't stop and throw it into reverse. A) your dumbass is liable to hit him. B) He's 3! He doesn't carry cash. Give him time to get on Etrade and sell some stock, then his parents can take him to the bank to do a withdrawl from his college savings. Better yet, do you take money orders? He's a big fan of Western Union.
***Note- My nephew did not run into the street, but he was on his way to it as my Brother saw it all and chased after him and caught him before something tragic happened. No foul parenting was involved.***
And there we have it. Pet Peeves of West Ending it. I can put up with beer cans scattered in peoples yards, dirty kids of all genders running around without clothes after the street lights come on, I even grit my teeth when a parent is yelling at their kids at 10:30 pm in Hy-Vee because they are tired and crying. But the above types of people are the ones that I wish would move to Rock Island. It's just a hop, skip, and a jump over the Centennial Bridge. And who knows, maybe they'll fall off on the way.
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